


I Am A Collapsing Star With Tunnel Vision

by Purplechimera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Delirium, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mentions of Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:56:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplechimera/pseuds/Purplechimera
Summary: Sirius runs away from home.





	I Am A Collapsing Star With Tunnel Vision

**Author's Note:**

> This is a scene I envision every time I hear the line from Fall Out Boy:  
> I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you

 

For the first time, Orion drew blood. It slid down Sirius’ face and dripped onto the floor, bright against the dark tile.

With a clenched jaw, he turned away, waving one bejeweled hand at the door. “I am done with you. Be gone.”

It felt as though the Whomping Willow had caught Sirius square in the chest. Some invisible force pushed him back across the parlor and out the front door. He tumbled down the steps and landed sprawled on the grass. Just as he managed to push himself up, there was a  _ whoosh _ like someone had pulled a drain plug, and Number 12 Grimmauld Place disappeared.

Sirius pushed himself off the pavement, grateful that he had his wand, at least.  _ James. _

“Just...make sure you keep your wand on you, okay?” James’ voice echoed in his mind. Sirius could almost feel the other boy’s hands pressing on his shoulders before finally turning to step off the Hogwarts Express.

When Sirius managed to extract his wand from his pocket, his hands were trembling so much that blue sparks started spewing out of the tip, and he knew by the way his vision was blurring that it would not be safe to Apparate, underage magic or not.  _ James. _

Instead, he looked around, taking in the deserted Muggle street and the bright, nearly-full moon.  _ I can help Remus, this month _ , he thought, and collapsed into giggles. It was several minutes before he managed to calm himself, and he twirled his wand between his fingers, attempting to cast the modified Point Me James had been working on last semester. Instead of pointing north, it was supposed to point to a person. But Sirius’ wand just kept spinning in circles until it fell off his hand and clattered onto the sidewalk.

So Sirius began to walk.  _ James. _

He followed his namesake, for no particular reason other than it seemed like the thing to do, and anything was better than staying. So he walked. The sidewalk seemed more wiggly than usual, but eventually Sirius came across a train station. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared up at the list of train times and destinations. Even when his head wasn’t throbbing, he struggled to understand Muggle train systems, and the letters on this board wouldn’t stay still long enough for him to read them.

“Are you alright?” 

Sirius’ vision was filled with a plump woman wearing a violent green coat that instantly made Sirius’ headache worse. Her blue eyes peered up at him, full of worry.

“Uh, yeah. Just…” What was he doing? Sirius looked around. “Trying to get to James.”

“James.”

“Yes. I need to get to James.” His voice cracked, and suddenly it felt as though iron rings had been clamped around his chest. “I need to-”

“Where does James live, darling? Maybe I can help.”

_ Where does James live. He lives in the first bed on the left. I’m not at Hogwarts. _ “At Potter Manor.”

“Hmm. Do you know what part of the country it is in?”

_ What part of the- _ “Merlin’s beard, lady, I’ve no bloody idea! Why do you think I’m standing here-”

But the woman’s whole face lit up, and she grabbed Sirius by the arm, dragging him out of the station. He wanted to fight her off, but he couldn’t seem to be able to grasp her arm. When they stopped, Sirius found himself standing in a tiny alleyway. The woman dug through her handbag, pulled out a wand, and tapped on a brick. The brick wiggled and then turned into a door handle, which she turned, revealing an overstuffed kitchen. 

_ James. _

When Sirius didn’t move, she grabbed his arm again and hauled him inside. Sirius was certain if he touched anything the entire room would collapse, and so he tried very hard to stand still. He couldn’t tell if the room was swaying, or just his vision. The woman puttered around, opening boxes seemingly at random and keeping up a string of commentary that Sirius did not process whatsoever.

Eventually she made a triumphant sound and hurried to the fireplace, clutching a small bowl. “Found it! Come dear, here you are.” She shoved the bowl at Sirius, who peered down at the green powder for several seconds before comprehending what was happening.

“Thanks,” he managed half a smile and took a pinch of Floo Powder. “Potter Manor!”

It wasn’t until he was rolling across the Potters’ living room carpet that he realized he never caught the witch’s name.


End file.
